What runs your life? Have you ever even stopped to answer that question?
For many of us, the answer is “no.” Our lives are just a combination of “to do” list items, interactions, and obligations. They aren’t lives of love, fun, playfulness, creativity, and growth. They are lives we slowly fall into- sometimes unknowingly- sometimes kicking and screaming, but in the end, it is the life we give in to.
Who wants that? No one.
But it is what happens when we start to be concerned with the social roles at hand more than we are concerned with the relationships of the heart. And it is these social role relationships that we think in our heads should be so fulfilling, but in our hearts leave us empty, feeling alone, and misunderstood.
Social role relationships show up in all areas of our lives- from family obligation relationships, love relationships, to business connections. We build the relationships we are supposed to and never stop to evaluate if this relationship is right for us (or them.)
What if we gave up the obligation? What if we say FU social role relationships? What if I said I’m no longer having relationships on a superficial, not heart-gasmic way?
Sounds scary and a bit overwhelming, right?
But doesn’t it also sound secretly fun?!?
The great thing is you begin to transform your relationships, just by making different choices. Don’t allow people to get away with those fake and phony answers. Press in, get to the truth. So no more “How are you? Fine.” situations.
Call people out (including yourself) when you aren’t being real or you aren’t loving what's going on. In the beginning, you may be less than graceful with how you approach such topics, but that’s ok. A little shock is always good when you are trying to change up a routine relationship. Relationships are what make life great. There is no room for subpar social role obligation relationships - who has time for that?